Fame.
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.” - Jim Carrey
My first job in PR was working at powerhouse entertainment firm PMK/HBH under the rule of the infamous Pat Kingsley. She defined modern publicity and put the fear of God in reporters and editors wanting to interview her roster of mega stars. When Tom Cruise notoriously fired her in 2004 after fourteen years, it was a publicity disaster. (Who can forget the couch jumping?)
It was also the beginning of the end of controlling how much access the general public got to someone—and arguably, the end of controlling fame itself. Two years later, Twitter began, followed four years later by Instagram.
And now I find myself meticulously crafting a divorce announcement for clients to post on social media—putting thought into every. single. word. so the message is met more with empathy and less with blindsided anger.
In a world where anyone can build a personal brand and find an audience, how do you do fame and keep your sanity? Let's explore.
xo,
Molly
1. 1000 True Fans.
In Kevin Kelly's now iconic essay, 1000 True Fans, he argues that all you need is 1000 true fans to make a living being a creative. And by true fans, he means that whatever you do, those die hard fans will buy anything you produce (book, music, food at your restaurant, etc.). You may not be famous to millions, but you can make a living doing what you love. If you are looking to build a massive following, this is a great place to start.
2. Don't let strangers on the internet dictate your self worth.
The best relationship with fame is the one where you don't let what strangers say about you change the way YOU feel about you. You get into serious trouble when you start believing your own hype, because inevitably you then have to believe your worst critics. Learn how to set boundaries to begin living life somewhere in the middle of the highs and lows that comes with having fans. We have clients who choose not to read their reviews (positive or negative). What boundaries can you put in place that will help your mindset?
3. Are you ready for big fan energy?
James Wedmore has a fantastic podcast episode about why your audience isn't growing. In it, he throws this one at you: "Imagine I magically give you 100K followers right this minute or hand you a mic on a stage in front of thousands. How do you feel?" Are you ready to show up consistently day after day, ready to motivate, delight and/or entertain your audience? Ok...but can you also mentally handle the responsibility?
4. Call my publicist.
Elizabeth Gilbert gave a mind blowing interview, where she reveals that if anyone somehow manages to get her personal email, bypassing the accepted channels for requests (be it for her to speak, do an interview, etc.), she immediately deletes them. Um, I'd like to pause here and take a slow clap. I've had clients over the years who were terrified of setting this boundary—convinced they would somehow lose the opportunity if they didn't respond directly. This couldn't be further from the truth. It's a necessary boundary to put in place so that nobody (reporter, producer, etc.) takes advantage of having direct access to you and you aren't put in the awkward position of having to say no. We always recommend that you forward those emails to your team without responding. The minute you respond at all—even to introduce the team—they've got you where they want you. Let your publicist be the "bad guy" so you don't have to be.
5. What it's really like to be famous.
Tim Ferris wrote a riff on the topic, and while he admits that it can come across as "woe is me, I'm a little bit famous," he points out very valid (and often negative) ways your life changes no matter the level of fame. And this coming from the man who said, "If I'm not famous by 30, I might as well put a bullet in my head." At 29, his book, "The 4-Hour Workweek" hit the New York Times bestseller list and stayed there for over four years. Be careful what you wish for.
